A Radical Invitation to Self-Responsibility

I want to talk about the expression of negative intent, and a project of mine that I call Radical Self Responsibility. To do so, I’m going to touch on a very hot button issue. Let me clarify that the purpose of using this example is not to talk about the politics of the situation, but to point out how very human it is and how we as individuals may be able to approach it. 

The whole world has been watching the latest conflicts between Israel and Palestine unfold this month. This is a conflict that has been happening in one way or another for close to 2000 years, so my intention is not to make it sound simple; it’s incredibly intricate. 

But I am going to speak about it in simple terms, as what we’re seeing is not unique to these two groups of people. I think if you look at it honestly, you’ll see elements of yourself and your own life in the situation.

We’re All Fighting for the Same Thing

What we have are two groups of people fighting for the same thing. 

They’re both fighting for a place to live, and for the right to have a family, and to have a belief system that is theirs. They’re fighting to exist. And both parties feel that the other group is preventing them from doing that. Both feel threatened. 

While the conflict between these two groups is very old, the human conflict of needing to survive is even older. The energetic imprint of survival is one of our lower self expressions. It goes hand in hand with aggression, anger, and reactivity. As people, we carry this with us wherever we go. 

The drive to survive is deep within us. If we feel actively threatened by an outside force, we will strike back at it with negative intent. So we all come to the table with our own individual conflicts, and a belief that we have the right to be here; then we are brought together with others who do too, and the aggression is almost inevitable. We get caught in a loop of retaliation. 

Nothing Will Change Unless We Find Common Ground

It doesn’t take a genius to understand that if it keeps going this way, nothing will change. If we can’t learn to examine our feelings, and more importantly transmute that anger into a more productive energy, we will be stuck in the cycle. 

So how do we find that middle ground? How do we get to a place where we no longer intend to hurt someone else? 

I believe it starts with allowing ourselves to feel the heartbreak beneath our anger. While expressing anger may address the immediate threat, expressing heartbreak is where the real catharsis is. 

The cathartic acts of releasing our sadness and grief through vulnerability moves that energy through the body and through the heart, and can bring you to a place of acknowledging that you don’t want to feel this way anymore. This level of heartbreak is not how you want to experience being alive; being a human. 

Once we’ve acknowledged the heartbreak, what’s the next logical move? Radical Self Responsibility. 

I don’t want to be hurt, and therefore I don’t want to do the hurting. I take responsibility for my part in the pain, and I want to break the cycle. Because the question here is not whether or not people have been hurt, or that there has been wrongdoing. 

The question is how we, as people, can acknowledge that and move forward together. Otherwise the pattern never breaks and we continue to project our anger onto one another for generations to come. 

2000 years worth of generations. 

Hold Up the Mirror 

Take a moment to meditate on your own life story and experience. How many conflicts have you had if you would’ve taken radical self responsibility for yourself? How many conflicts could you have avoided or resolved without a fight if you would’ve stepped back and chosen to break the cycle? 

All of us carry the memories and patterns of our ancestors and our culture. 

To change any of these patterns, it takes a large group of individuals taking radical self-responsibility for their experience. Which means choosing to take a step back, take a deep breath, and recognize we all want the same things. 

Once you’ve established that perspective, the real work becomes easy: 

You need to look within yourself and heal the parts of you that are afraid, angry, disappointed, and want revenge. You cannot have a seat at the table of peace until you do. 

Are you ready to hold up the mirror to your own experience? Are you ready to change your own patterns of anger and fear? Take the first step and sign up for a free 20-minute consultation with me.