A Journey of Self-Discovery and Change

A Journey of Self-Discovery and Change

Today, I’m going to open up in a way I usually don’t and share some of the profound shifts I’ve been experiencing lately. 

My life has undergone wonderful, yet significant changes, prompting me to ponder some profound questions: Where do I go from here? Who are my true companions on this journey? And perhaps most importantly, who am I becoming in the process? Without the tools I’ve honed over the years to keep me grounded, I’d undoubtedly be overwhelmed by the upheaval.

In this next series of articles, I want to delve into a deeply personal journey that has been shaping my life in profound ways.

It’s a journey that has compelled me to pivot from topics related solely to therapeutic processes and delve into the impact of life itself, something we all contemplate.. Over the past two and half years I’ve been shuttling between the United States and Denmark, spending anywhere from two to four months in each place. 

This journey began with a dual purpose – to spend precious time with my aging parents and explore the possibility of making Denmark my permanent home. In this exploration, I’ve encountered both joys and challenges that have led me to question where I truly belong.

From America to Denmark: A Transformational Shift

Two and a half years ago, I made the significant decision to return to Denmark after spending the majority of my adult life in the United States. 

My daughter had embarked on her college journey, and I found myself without any committed relationships. It seemed like the perfect time for a change. What made this transition feasible was the transformation of my business into a fully virtual enterprise. This change allowed me to take my work with me wherever I chose to go, providing me with unparalleled flexibility.

Returning to Denmark was a homecoming of sorts. I had regularly visited my parents and maintained relationships with friends, but this extended stay was different. It allowed me to care for my parents as their health changed and rekindle connections that had grown somewhat distant over the years. I felt truly blessed by the experience. 

However, amid the admiration I hold for Denmark’s orderly and welfare-oriented society, I sensed a tightness and a sense of restriction that didn’t sit well with me.

My years in the United States taught me the value of space – not just physical space, but the freedom to explore one’s own experiences and self-expression. 

The openness and receptivity to personal journeys, no matter how unconventional, were striking. It’s quintessentially American to support and encourage one another’s endeavors, which deeply resonates  with me.

An Uncertain Future: What’s Next?

Now, I find myself at a crossroads, I am uncertain about where I’ll permanently live or what I’ll be doing, aside from my commitment to continuing therapy work. 

Yet, even in this area, I feel the need for change. While individual and couples therapy is immensely rewarding, I believe the message and benefits of therapy should reach a broader audience.

Many people I know have settled into a comfortable routine, a life that works for them at some level. I see this pattern in almost everyone around me, particularly in Denmark. 

People live in their homes, go to work, enjoy time with family and pets – it’s a formula that satisfies most. However, it’s not enough for me. I’ve downsized my physical possessions and simplified my life, but I have a deeper restlessness.

I don’t merely desire material possessions or a nomadic lifestyle. It’s something deeper – a quest for authenticity and fulfillment. 

I feel uneasy in the complacency around me, and I want to do something about it for myself and those around me. I’m confronted with questions about the kind of man I want to become and the imprint I want to leave on my surroundings.

Questions Without Easy Answers

As I embark on this uncertain path, I don’t have all the answers.

I’m not here to judge others for their life choices; everyone’s path is unique. Instead, I’m sharing this journey as I navigate change and seek a life that aligns with my deepest desires. The journey ahead is one of continued self-discovery, change, and the pursuit of authenticity, and I invite you to join me on this exploration of the unknown.

The first step? 

Sign up for a free 20-minute session with me right here. 

You can read more blogs on our website to learn about somatic therapy

1 thought on “A Journey of Self-Discovery and Change”

  1. Kristina LeFever

    Nicolai – I have kept in touch with your writing and it is all very great as this one is as well.

    You sound the same to me, actually – open, exploring, curious. Self-discovery and change. It is all quite wonderful, yes?

    I send you all the very best,

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